I logged into my Facebook account this past weekend and was astonished by the level of fear gripping so many people. My newsfeed was completely covered with news stories about the Coronavirus and it was clear that a pandemic of fear was growing faster than the virus itself.
The suffering of those afflicted with this virus and those who have died should not be understated. It is tragic that many people have died. We must pray for the dead, those impacted, and that it doesn’t spread.
What concerns me the most about the reaction is that it often betrays a lack of hope. We are a people of hope, not a people of fear. The knee-jerk reaction to me saying this is typically: “You aren’t at risk, so you don’t understand.” This is categorically false. I may not be high risk, but my husband is extremely high risk from the complications should he contract the Coronavirus.
My husband is immune-compromised and on two immune suppression drugs for a disease that is slowly destroying his lungs; the very organ the virus attacks in those who have died. He is scheduled to receive his next infusion therapy twice over the course of the coming weeks. His immune system will be even more compromised after these infusions and the virus is currently in our state; thankfully, a few hours away for now.
We lived in constant fear of the unknown as we went through the
first two years of his illness. Every time he would cough up blood, we would wonder
how serious it was. I dropped him off at the Emergency Room all hours of the
night so they could rule out a pneumothorax or hemothorax or serious infection.
There was constant uncertainty and fear in our family because we knew his
disease could take off and become life-threatening at any moment. In fact,
before the advent of biologics, my husband would have died by now since we are
approaching the three year mark.
Finally, He and I both decided that we could not continue to live
with the anxiety and uncertainty. The only choice we have as followers of
Christ is to accept this Cross. Truth-be-told, he found peace with it before I
did. I struggled mightily with the thought of him dying, which will always be a
possibility with this illness, but he could also get into a car accident
commuting to work tomorrow. We do not know his hour, my hour, or our daughter’s
hour of death. I realized Christ was asking me to trust Him. Whatever happens
is for our good and our sanctification even if it comes with immense suffering.
There is a reason Christ tells us not to be afraid. Fear is a
response in our amygdala that causes us to flee or fight. In certain instances,
it is so strong that it overrides our reason entirely. This is when it becomes
truly dangerous. It is when fear rules us that human beings turn to violence
and dangerous forms of self-preservation. We can see this in a small scale in
those instance when people are using physical force over toilet paper and on a
large scale in cases of genocide.
Fear in our spiritual lives distances us from God and one another
because it leads us to despair and lack of trust. In our fallen state, it is
understandable that we become anxious when something new and unknown happens to
us, such as my husband’s illness or the Coronoavirus, but our response must be
one of seeking to surrender in trust to God’s will. It may take time, but it
must be our primary focus.
What happens to St. Peter when he walks out onto the water
towards Christ, but then becomes afraid?
Then he made the disciples get into the boat and precede him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowds. After doing so, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When it was evening he was there alone. Meanwhile the boat, already a few miles offshore, was being tossed about by the waves, for the wind was against it. During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them, walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea they were terrified. “It is a ghost,” they said, and they cried out in fear. At once [Jesus] spoke to them, “Take courage, it is I; do not be afraid.” Peter said to him in reply, “Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.” He said, “Come.” Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw how [strong] the wind was he became frightened; and, beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out his hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” After they got into the boat, the wind died down. Those who were in the boat did him homage, saying, “Truly, you are the Son of God.”
Matthew 14:22-33
As long as St. Peter keeps his gaze fixed on Christ’s own loving
gaze, he is able to walk on water. The wind, the sea, they do not matter as
long as we focus on Christ and trust in Him. In order to trust Him, we have to
accept that we are never going to be completely free of suffering in this life.
The Cross is the very center of our Faith and none of us will be able to escape
it if we truly desire to be Christian disciples. Once we accept that suffering
is a part of our sanctification, then we can let go of our fear and trust in
Christ.
It doesn’t mean suffering will be easy, but it means that we know
that He will never abandon us. This acceptance and trust allows the Holy Spirit
to pour greater faith, hope, and charity into our souls as we focus on living
radical dependence on God. Like St. Peter, we must fix our gaze on Christ. The
moment we start focusing on the storms of this life, the pain, the suffering,
the fear of death, or the many other worries of this life, we will begin to
sink and fear will overtake us. This is true in a global pandemic and it is
true in the afflictions of our own daily lives. There is not a single storm in
this life that can keep us from the love of Christ.
St. Paul exhorts us in Romans to trust completely in Christ and
His love for us:
What will separate us from the love of Christ? Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or the sword? As it is written:
“For your sake we are being slain all the day; we are looked upon as sheep to be slaughtered.”
No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor present things, nor future things, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35-39
We are a people of faith, hope, and charity. Christ needs us to be a light to those who are overcome with fear. We cannot be that light if we are sinking in the waves of fear and despair in the face of the afflictions of our present age. We must be a people of prayer and conviction that Christ is with us no matter what comes. The Good News is the answer to all of the world’s woes including—especially—the current pandemic.
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Photo by Maria Lupan on Unsplash
