As Christians, our lives and our relationships are meant to be different from the prevailing culture. We are witnesses to Christ crucified and risen from the dead, who is the cause for our joy.
As the Mystical Body, the communion we share with one another is one of the ways that we are able to draw others into the love of the Most Holy Trinity and to the eucharistic banquet. When people see the love we have for one another, they should immediately see the love of God dwelling within us.
As witnesses, we are not meant to draw attention to ourselves,
but rather, to the gift of the Holy Spirit who dwells within each one of us.
There should be a dynamic at work in our friendships and relationships that
leads people to wonder in amazement at the love we have for one another, and it
should awaken within them the desire to enter into that love. Our bonds of love
in friendship—or any other loving relationship—is a reflection of God’s love
for mankind. Our friendships are meant to be infectious and life-giving. And while
there will always be varying levels of intimacy and affection in each one of
our relationships with individuals, the joy in the love of Christ that we share
in those relationships should always be inviting to others so that love and
communion can deepen and flourish within the Mystical Body.
When our relationships are grounded in the love of Christ, they
take on a new quality. There is a closeness that becomes evident to others.
I’ve been thinking about this in my own relationships. I’ve noticed that the
more my relationships are focused on the love of Christ, the more other people,
even within my own parish, ask me about them. I am frequently asked if one of
my closest friends is actually my biological sister. I tend to reply with:
“Yes, she is my sister in Christ, but we aren’t biologically related.” Our
friendship is centered on our mutual desire to grow in holiness through the
paths we have each been given. The closeness we share with one another in
Christ is evident, so people are convinced that we are sisters.
Another close friend of mine, who I visit with after daily Mass
each day, is often confused for my mother. Fellow daily Mass goers see the love
and high regard we have for one another, so they’ve come to wonder if we are
mother and daughter. We’ve taken to telling people that we are spiritual mother
and spiritual daughter, because it is true. Once again our relationship is
first and foremost about our shared love for Christ. That love, deepened
through the Holy Spirit, radiates outward and the intimacy we share in our
relationship is seen by others to the point of people believing she is my
mother and I am her daughter.
The same goes for my relationships with my priests. I’m regularly
asked how I am able to communicate so effortlessly with them after daily Mass,
Sunday Mass, or at an event. First, I’ve made a concerted effort to foster
closer relationships with them. Sometimes members of the laity can set priests
too far apart—the same can be said of priests who do this to the laity—and this
creates an unnecessary barrier to communion with them. They are supposed to be
“men of communion” after all. They are called to be “other Christs” to us and
the world. By virtue of their ordination, they are meant to draw us into deeper
communion with the Most Holy Trinity and with one another.
Priests should radiate the love of God to the world, and as members of the laity, we are called to mirror the love of Christ back to them. As Kathleen Beckman points out in her book Praying for Priests: An Urgent Call for the Salvation of Souls: “If we desire to be inspired by holy priests, we also should mirror holiness to them.” We cannot share in the mutual love of Christ with them if we close ourselves off from priests. Christ working through the holiness of our priests and their desire to grow in holiness strengthens us on the path to holiness as well. Relationships are meant to be reciprocal, so our desire for holiness should also help them on the path to holiness and convict them in their priestly ministry.
What sets all of these relationships apart is that they are all
grounded in a mutual love of Christ and a desire to grow in holiness. The more
deeply we love Christ, the more we will come to love one another. As we are
purified in charity, our relationships become freer and take on a radiance that
images the love of the Most Holy Trinity. We first learn this love within our
own families, seeking to love our spouses and our children with the Sacred
Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. This love is not meant to stay
within our families, however. Love should always be a movement outward from
ourselves towards others.
In a time of increasing loneliness and isolation, it is essential that we come to a greater understanding of our call to communion with one another. Our culture desperately needs our witness of charity towards one another found in relationships focused on Christ. Not only because of the great blessing these relationships are for us, but because it is an opportunity to teach others what authentic love looks like. Our love for one another can draw others into the love of God.
Anyone who has experienced the great joy of friendships grounded
in the love of God knows that charity is extremely demanding. It is not good
feelings and sentimentality. It is self-emptying, forgiving, and constantly in
need of purification. There are times when we have to offer fraternal
correction or voice concern and may hurt one another. Disagreements—sometimes
serious ones—may arise. There will be times when we will have to forgive deep
pain we’ve caused one another. Our willingness to choose to forgive in order to
love the other person is another testament to the great love we have in Christ
and an image of the forgiveness and love we’ve been shown by God.
Christian friendship also means walking with others in their
suffering and enduring pain alongside of them. True friendships—just like the
love within families—require an acceptance of both joy and sorrow. This is why
learning to love one another in this way has a dramatic impact on all of those
around us. Friendships grounded in the love of Christ can weather the storms of
this life.
In an age of division, when calls to communion are becoming even
more essential, let us seek to foster friendships with one another that radiate
the love of Christ to others.
“I give you a new commandment: love one another. As I have loved you, so you also should love one another. This is how all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
John 13:34-35
