I can remember in April 2014 having a seemingly random thought as I looked at my cousin’s Facebook profile. The thought was that I should encourage him to consider the priesthood. It felt very strange considering I had not seen him in 9 years. The last time I saw him was in my final month serving in the U.S. Navy, when I pinned on one of his gold bars as he became a newly commissioned second lieutenant in the U.S. Marine Corps. As I looked at the photos he posted on Facebook, the thought came to me: What kind of man goes to the canonization Mass of St. John Paul II right after getting out of the Marine Corps? The kind of man called to be a priest.
As awkward as it was for me to do, I carefully drafted a Facebook message to him. I told him I knew it was odd coming from me, but I asked him if he had ever considered the priesthood before. This message was not one of those unfortunate situations some men seem to find themselves in when they are Catholic and still single in their mid-thirties and people start asking if they have considered the priesthood. I did not see my cousin as a single guy in his thirties in need of a priestly vocation because he wasn’t married yet.
For some reason, people start to think any guy who has been seemingly “unlucky” in love should look into the priesthood. That happened to my husband a few years before we met when his grandmother said he should consider the priesthood because he wasn’t finding the right girl. That is the absolute wrong reason for a man to consider the priesthood. Unlucky in love is not a priestly calling. Neither is it a calling for the guy who wouldn’t be a good husband and father. If a man wouldn’t be a good husband and father then he has no business being a priest either. He will be, after all, a spiritual father to thousands of souls throughout his lifetime.
The nudging I had been given to reach out to my cousin came from the Holy Spirit. When I looked at his photos from the canonization Mass, I saw a man who loves his Catholic faith. A faith that stayed intact despite 8 years in the USMC, combat, and the amoral sexual mores of most service members he and I were both surrounded with in our time serving. It left a deep impression on me to see him attending St. John Paul II’s canonization Mass as his first act as a civilian.
He messaged me back and said that my note was not so random after all. Our grandmother—may she rest eternal—and our uncle had already reached out to him about considering a priestly vocation. He was considering it, but he was prudent enough to know that he needed 3-4 years to transition back into civilian life.
Ten years later, my cousin is a diocesan priest. He was ordained last June. I was blessed to attend both his ordination to the transitional diaconate in 2022 and his ordination to the priesthood in 2023. Since God is the Lord of time and dates matter to Him, my cousin was ordained to the transitional diaconate on Divine Mercy weekend. The St. John Paul II connection complete.
We need priests. We are in a priest shortage crisis that will only worsen as more and more priests retire, die, or leave. The ordination classes in many dioceses are simply not large enough to make up for the losses due to retirement and death. Foreign priests are serving in greater and greater numbers. Their commitment to Christ, deep prayer, and willingness to stand up for the truth when so many will not is a breath of much needed fresh air for the Church in the West, but ICE issues have forced many priests to return to their native countries.
We need priests to come from our own families. A discussion I have regularly with Catholic parents of sons begins with them asking this question: “How can I raise my sons to consider becoming priests with the corrupt state of the Church and the clergy?” They are referring to the seemingly never-ending clergy sex abuse scandals, financial corruption, lack of strong leadership, and crises of faith they see within the clergy. This is a very difficult question for parents to wrestle with, but the reality is, we need good, holy men to run into the fire that is the Church in order to save souls.
My cousin started seminary in the summer of 2018. He and his brother seminarians—many of whom are now ordained priests—understood that they were running into a catastrophic fire. It helps that my cousin served two combat tours, so he knows how to go into a fire-fight, but this time he battles against “powers and principalities,” which is a far greater adversary. These men know souls are on the line. These men will begin to douse the flames.
What ultimately leads these men to run into a burning Church? The answer is not what. It is Who.
Men in the wake of the scandals of 2002 and 2018 and beyond run in because they love Our Lord above all else. He is the starting and ending point of every priestly vocation. He has created certain men to be conformed most intimately and closely to Himself. He wants to give His Eternal Priestly Sacred Heart to these men in order to help Him save souls. He asks certain men to lay down their lives for the sheep. This is the high calling of the priest.
As parents, we are called to raise our children to put the Lord first above all else in their lives. The Catholic Church patently rejects the falsehoods of the prosperity gospel. We are not here on this earth in order to have a materially successful job, fancy house, two cars, 1.3 children, and a dog. We are here to serve the Lord. Some people, by God’s grace, are highly successful in the temporal realm. There is nothing wrong with this as long as a person is not enslaved by avarice. It is not the purpose of our lives, however. Our purpose in this life is to glorify God by becoming a saint. We become a saint by following His will for our lives.
The Lord knows the hearts of the men He wants to raise up to the high dignity of ordained priest. He knows that the ultimate happiness of these men depends on their willingness to lay down their lives and say yes to His call because He has set them apart for Himself. For those parents who are afraid, or who are attached to grandchildren, there has to be a relinquishment and death to our own desires. It is not ultimately about us. It is about God and His plans for our children. Our children’s vocations belong to God alone.
As far as fear because of the crisis facing the Church in our day, my question back is always: “Who is going to fix the problems if we don’t raise up holy men to fight for souls as priests?” My follow up response is that of St. John Vianney: “Without the Sacrament of Holy Orders, we would not have the Lord.” Succinctly put: no priests; no Sacraments. The Church depends on families to raise up men to become holy priests. It is a part of our sacred duty as parents to raise children to seek God’s vocation for their lives, not place obstacles on their path to God out of fear or our own desires.
The calling of a priest is crucifixion. It is the way of the Cross to the glory of the resurrection through surrendering all of his being to Christ for the salvation of souls. “No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:13). Parents share in that crucifixion when they surrender their sons to the Church. With that relinquishment comes great joy.
What a tremendous gift to parents to watch their sons give their lives for thousands of souls. To witness such bravery in their sons knowing the burning building they are running into. For those who wanted grandchildren, you get to become spiritual grandparents to thousands of souls. Souls who rely on your prayers and the sacrifice of your desires for their sake. Each holy priest leads thousands of souls towards heaven. As Catholics, what truly matters most? The salvation of souls or a successful worldly career? The Lord tells us to seek that which is above.
As the Mystical Body, it is also our duty to encourage priestly vocations. Firstly, through daily prayer for holy vocations to the priesthood and for men who are already priests. Secondly, our brothers in Christ need encouragement from God through us. Every vocation story is filled with people the Lord sent to encourage men to answer His call to the priesthood. When we see single men repeatedly at Eucharistic Adoration, serving in the Mass, praying the Rosary, or attending other spiritual functions at our parishes or communities, we should ask the Holy Spirit whether or not these men need a nudge to reach out to their pastor or the diocesan vocations director about the priesthood. The first sign a single man may have a priestly vocation is his prayer life, not his dating life.
It is not only the laity who need to foster vocations. On multiple occasions I have let priests know to pray for and approach men who I know are considering the priesthood, but who may be too nervous to reach out to them. The latest CARA study published by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops on this year’s religious and priestly vocations, revealed that the vast majority of seminarians—both religious and diocesan—talked to priests during their discernment. These men need priests to approach and encourage them. If priests never talk to men about the priesthood, it makes it much harder for them to discern.
Everyone in the Church has an essential part to play in priestly vocations. As parents—and spiritual parents—we should be raising holy men who want to fight for Christ and for souls. We cannot allow fear at the state of the Church to lead us to discourage our sons and godsons from becoming priests. Right now, families are raising up the men who will help put out the flames engulfing the Church through their sacrificial, prayerful, and zealous witness as priests. It is their willingness to run into the fire that will make all the difference to souls.
The next time you get a nudge to approach a man in the pews about the priesthood—even if it is your own son or godson—ask the Holy Spirit to guide you. Do not be afraid. The Lord may be using you to help a man say yes to a priestly vocation. I never could have imagined that my awkward Facebook message would be a part of my own cousin’s discernment, and that a few years later, I would witness his ordination. What a glorious day!
St. John Vianney, ora pro nobis.
Servant of God, Frank Parater, ora pro nobis.
Photo by Michel Grolet on Unsplash
