Lewis begins his conversion story, Surprised by Joy, by clarifying that it is not meant to be an autobiography or “Confessions” like the famous Christian conversion of Augustine. One would be forgiven for thinking so, considering how Augustinian Lewis is in his life, motivations, and thinking. He tells readers that every piece of biographical information is all context for us understanding the real “business” of the book. Lewis calls this business “Joy,” which we all long for our entire lives. These fleeting, profound instances of joy throughout his life eventually brought Lewis into a relationship of faith.
While Joy is the primary focus for Lewis, there are many practical insights for us into the nature of conversion. Here are seven that will not only help us understand Lewis better, but ourselves and those in our lives in search of Joy:
1. Conversions are “suffocatingly subjective.” (Preface, VIII)
Lewis is not at all saying that the Faith is subjective, but our experience of it is. There is always this interchange between the thing experienced and the one experiencing it. Even though God is unchangeable and Christianity is objectively either true or false, every person’s response is unique. This means that every person deserves patience and grace when it comes to their faith journey. It also means that it is every person’s responsibility to pursue a relationship with God as he or she is able. Others can help you find faith, but they can’t have faith for you.
2. In every conversion there is a lot of backstory to a falling away, but also to a return.
Lewis says right from the first sentence that this book is the result of those wanting to know how he “passed from Atheism to Christianity” (preface, VII). He could have jumped right to his loss of faith or his mother’s passing as the catalyst. But this would not have given us a comprehensive picture. It would have been denying us seeds for his later return. From the time he spent with his brother, to the books he was reading, to his invention of “Animal-Land,” details are placed early as clues to his eventual conversion.
This tells us about others who are not yet back in relationship with God. It is not just knowing the reason for why a person does not believe in God, go to church, or pray; it is about knowing what led up to that reason. Lewis’s reasoning for becoming a Christian is not a list of bullet points—it isn’t for anyone. For everyone, it is understood in the context of a story.
3. It is not ALL emotions, but it is not NO emotions either.
Lewis provides an example of a conversion that synthesized a strict intellectual and a romantic storyteller. When describing his turn away from religion, Lewis says, “I cannot remember feeling much interest in it” (7), and later in his turn toward it, “I had not exactly spent the journey in thought. Nor in great emotion” (237). This is helpful for a modern person struggling with one’s motivations for belief. Even those who welcome emotions in their lives do want to be manipulated or deceived by them. Many have also seen the limits of our intellectual powers or the emptiness of a human life devoid of emotion. Lewis’s conversion here gives hope for a balanced, middle way.
4. Everyone worships something anyway.
Upon entering Wyvern College, Lewis describes his pursuit of status from those he deemed his social betters, those called “the Bloods,” with religious zeal, saying, “No boy ever went there more prepared to worship [the Bloods] than I” (83). Lewis, like many who seek God, was tempted to replace God with honor as the source of happiness. Later, he would describe how he was tempted to spiritual power. Before his turn towards God, Lewis began to be attracted to magic and the occult because he felt the presence of power (175-6). In both of these cases in Lewis’s life, it was about what he chose to worship. In ours, it is a matter of who we recognize as our God. “Joy,” Lewis realized, was his “god,” which eventually led him to the true God.
5. The less obvious sources can be the most effective.
Attention has rightly been given to the Inklings and J.R.R. Tolkien for their role in Lewis’s conversion to Christianity. Another important figure to whom Lewis devotes an entire chapter in Surprised by Joy is Mr. Kirk or “The Great Knock” (pp 132-148). Though an atheist himself, Mr. Kirk is credited with teaching Lewis to question assumptions and pursue truth. His dialectical approach built up Lewis’s reasoning powers, serving him well when examining questions about Christianity for himself. They also served Lewis in presenting these answers clearly and convincingly to his many readers and hearers.
Because Lewis knew Mr. Kirk had no ideological agenda, he could let his guard down and keep his mind open. These Great Knocks are present in our lives, planting the intellectual seeds for others to pursue God as well. It is our opportunity to identify where these seeds have been planted and water them.
6. Conversion is incarnational.
Without using Christian language to describe it, the modern world recognizes the need for inhabiting the embodied world. Lewis reflects often on humanity’s need for experiencing God’s Creation unmediated. Growing up without a car, Lewis “measured distances by the standard of man, man walking on his two feet” (157). He credits his friend for developing in him an appreciation of growing and preparing his food, saying, “I should never have known the beauty of the ordinary vegetables” (157). These few examples show Lewis’s engagement with Creation, helping him understand and appreciate the Creator, and that Creator’s entrance into Creation out of love.
7. Conversion requires courage.
On the natural level, cowardice and courage are the most important elements of Lewis’s conversion. He writes, “Cowardice drove me into hypocrisy and hypocrisy into blasphemy” (161). Not surprisingly, he discusses courage in many other books as well. He saw courage as that which made the other virtues possible, saying, “Where courage is not, no other virtue can survive except by accident” (161). In a world requiring more courage to assent to the Christian faith, and even more courage to do so publicly, it is encouraging to see empathy and support in a figure like Lewis.
8. Conversion is brought about by the Holy Spirit.
How often have we, in ourselves or a loved one, tried to manufacture or measure our relationship with God by some worldly means? Because Lewis’s conversion was directed by the “Joy” offered only by God, he describes Joy as a “byproduct” of our experience with God (168). Similarly, conversion must also be seen as a byproduct to something greater. Even God does not seek conversion for its own sake. It must be the result of a movement towards love.
When we reflect upon our own conversion, or the desired conversion of those whom we love, keep in mind these seven notes from one of the most famous and influential converts of the last 100 years. Pay attention to one’s entire story, look for sources of the truth in unexpected places, don’t ignore one’s emotions but don’t give them all the power, ask yourself what you are truly worshiping because it is always something, embody the Faith through sensible experiences like the sacraments or icons, have courage, especially the moral courage of resilience in the face of discouragement, and continue to pray to the Holy Spirit. These lessons from Lewis will not only bring about initial conversions to the Faith of those in our lives, but will also bring about our deeper conversion towards greater unity with Christ ourselves.
Photo by Johnny McClung on Unsplash
Lewis, C.S. Surprised by Joy: The Shape of My Early Life. Harcourt Inc. 1955.
