Many are called to Married Life; God Himself directed man and woman to “be fertile and multiply.” But others are called to give themselves totally and unreservedly to God in the Religious Life, by embracing the evangelical vows of chastity, poverty, and obedience in imitation of the Master and Model Jesus.
There’s also the call that is reserved only for men—the call to the Priesthood. Jesus is the High Priest and model for all who are called. Once ordained, they will be priests forever according to the Order of Melchizedek. In the Sacrament of Holy Orders, they are marked with an indelible character impressed deeply on their souls even after death, for all eternity.
This is a sublime vocation that God has reserved for few chosen. They are chosen to offer sacrifices and gifts to God in reparation for the sins of the people and in reparation for their own sins because they themselves are beset by human weakness; as such they can be patient with those sinners who come to them (Hebrews 5).
There is also another large group of individuals, comprised of both men and women, who have another state of life. We might call this “Blessed Singleness.”
The call to holiness is universal. Jesus stated this unequivocally with the words: “Be holy as your heavenly Father is holy.” In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus spells out in one of the eight Beatitudes: “Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness [or holiness]; they will be satisfied.” Saint Paul in his letter to the Thessalonians reiterates the universal call to holiness: “This is the will of your heavenly Father, your sanctification.” The great Saint Mother Teresa of Calcutta poignantly affirmed it as well: “Holiness is not a privilege of the few; rather, it is a duty for all.” That’s why the Second Vatican Council, in Lumen Gentium chapter V, offers us an entire chapter on the topic. Guess what its entitled? You got it: “The Universal Call to Holiness.”
The Single State
The single state actually encapsulates a wide spectrum of people, including many we might not immediately associate with it…
1. The Unmarried
Most typically associated with “the single life” are those who…are single—those who have never been married. Perhaps they are not yet married but are dating; perhaps they never were able to find a compatible spouse sent by God; perhaps they never felt called to the married life in the first place. Regardless, they are called to answer God’s beckoning each and every day. Everyone has a unique set of gifts given to them by God, meant to fortify them spiritually and bring others to the light of Christ.
2. Unwed Parents
There is a huge number of unwed parents today, mothers especially, in United States as well as throughout the world. The reasons are many, and each has their own history, but as they are not living out the vocation of marriage or religious life, they live out their call to holiness in Blessed Singleness.
3. Those Who Have Obtained an Annulment
Those who obtained annulments in the Church planned to get married, but due to certain circumstances, later realized that the sacramental marriage was not validly received. The annulment process in the Church confirms that the sacrament of marriage was never legitimately conferred on the couple. As painful as the process of separation and annulment is, these individuals may find comfort in the fact that Our Lord still calls them to His heart every day in their state of Blessed Singleness.
4. Widows and Widowers
The widowed are those who lived their vocation of marriage “until death do they part.” As confirmed by Jesus in Matthew 22:30, in the afterlife “they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like the angels in heaven,” meaning that the marriage vocation necessarily ends with death. After undergoing the painful experience of losing a spouse, the individual now re-enters the state of Blessed Singleness—still called, forever called to holiness and unity with God.
The Vocation
Every one of these groups found within the context of “Blessed Singleness” are very important and have a key role within society and the Church. We may be sure of that. However, without orientation, without direction it is all too easy to fall into the traps of the evil one. It is easy to find oneself in a “limbo,” in a place of unease and lack of direction, especially when experiencing the pain of breaking up or losing a spouse to death, but we must still be on our guard. The Lord never stops calling us, and the devil never stops trying to veer us away from Him.
And there is always a direction, a path forward, and that path is love. We are all, the Blessed Single included, called to encounter the Love of God present in the Person of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ in the context of His Mystical Body the Church. So, when feeling lost, when feeling alone, when wandering through no man’s land, seek out Christ. Find Him in the sacraments, in the Word, in community, in mission work. He is there; He is calling you.
Furthermore, we all need family in one way or another. Even God has (or more properly, is) family by the very nature of the Trinity: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Heaven is the family of God. The most perfect family on earth was the Holy Family: Jesus, Mary, and St. Joseph.
For that reason, we would like to initiate this new group: the Blessed Single. You all belong to Jesus. You are all part of the Mystical Body of Christ. Your mission and vocation is sublime. The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have a great love and place for you in the Most Sacred Heart.
Let us look to Our Lady’s example. The Blessed Virgin Mary, God’s masterpiece of creation, embraced all the different aspects of the vocation that God gave to her—from one extreme to the other. Mary was single. She conceived Jesus, through the working of the Holy Spirit, before she lived with St. Joseph. Even after their marriage and Jesus’ birth, Mary remained a virgin. Mary later became a widow and a single parent when she lost her husband. (We do not know when St. Joseph died, but tradition holds that it was during the hidden years of Christ before His public ministry.) Mary then lost her own Son when He died on the cross on Calvary.
So, this most holy woman was single, then an unwed mother, then wed, then widowed, then lost her only Son. Because of her experience of intense sufferings, all endured for the glory of God and the salvation of the world, all of you, all of us, can turn to her and find comfort in her arms and in the depths of her Immaculate Heart. At any time and any place, you can open your heart and mind and talk to her. She will understand you more than anyone else. She understands you better than you even understand yourself. Her love covers you like an immense sea of consolation.
Virgin Mary, Mother Mary, Mater Dolorosa, Comforter of the Afflicted, Queen of Peace; pray for us.
Photo by Sergiu Vălenaș on Unsplash
