We all live in the same fallen world, subject to trials, sufferings, and burdens. We fall into sin and continually need to repent. Yet we’re also called to “admonish the sinner”? Who—ourselves? Others? Whose sin is worse than whose? And how is this practice an act of mercy and not of judgment or alienation?
The Catechism of the Catholic Church provides the broader definition: “Instructing, advising, consoling, comforting are spiritual works of mercy, as are forgiving and bearing wrongs patiently” (2447).
We would do well to remember our ultimate goal: union with God in heaven. No sin can exist in God, so we are called to cooperate with God’s redemptive grace while here on earth to expunge sin from our lives and souls. And if not here, then by His grace in Purgatory.
This context helps us see how we might act as a conduit of God’s saving grace when we call our fellow brothers and sisters away from sin and into healing, holiness, and communion. But it remains a delicate matter, stepping into another’s hurt, another’s pain, another’s sin. Feeling seen in this area is enough to make one run further away from and not towards the saving light.
So, when we see our neighbor falling into sin, and feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to speak to it, we must do so with kindness and gentleness. Condemning the already broken, causing greater suffering to the already suffering soul is not the answer. Love over judgement. Let’s explore the elements key to performing this spiritual work of mercy: “to admonish the sinner.”
Be gentle.
The spiritual works of mercy are about having a caregiver’s mentality. A family caregiver is devoted to their family member in need. It’s a selfless act. If Catholics can think of themselves as caregivers for their fellow Catholics, then they might carry out the spiritual works of mercy a little differently.
It’s not about admonishing the sinner in a harsh way, just as you wouldn’t punish your ailing family member for not being well. For instance, if a family member has Alzheimer’s, you wouldn’t expect the same behavior or capabilities from them as a healthy person. You recognize their weaknesses and are kind and forgiving to them in their situation. You recognize their suffering and their need. It wouldn’t be just to punish them for not remembering things or not being able to function correctly.
We are all broken, some with illnesses and some with weaknesses. While the Alzheimer’s patient can only be consoled and cared for, the sinner can be corrected. But gentleness remains necessary because the sinner is also suffering, albeit in a different way from the physically ill.
Be loving.
Jesus is a kind God. “Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
And as Pope Francis said:
The supreme rule regarding fraternal correction is love: to want the good of our brothers and sisters. It is a matter of tolerating the problems of others, the defects of others in the silence of prayer, so as to find the right way to help them to correct themselves. And this is not easy. The easiest path is to gossip. Talking behind someone else’s back as if I am perfect. And this should not be done. Gentleness. Patience. Prayer. Proximity.
Examine your own conscience first.
Examine first your own sins before you try to punish someone else. Don’t be afraid to reevaluate your own spiritual formation and practices. This will only increase your ability to channel the Holy Spirit in the moment of fraternal correction.
Look inward to inspect your motives when feeling prompted to correct another. Make sure they are coming from the Lord, exercising His mercy, and not one’s own judgment.
Remove the wooden beam from your eye first; then you will see clearly to remove the splinter from your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:5)
Do it out of love.
We are guiding our fellow man in their spiritual needs and doing so requires love.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs. Love takes no pleasure in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Communicate your concerns privately with the person in sin.
Even if you have good reason to admonish a sinner, speak to them directly so they can answer to the complaint. Give them an opportunity to address it before you share it with anyone else.
Now if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15)
Don’t seek to punish.
Punishing a sinner won’t help absolve your sins or theirs. Be mindful that causing scandal drives more away from Our Lord, including the one spreading the scandal.
It is blessed and merciful to save someone from separation from God, but it requires cooperation with Him. God respects our free will, which He gifted to us, because He knows that there is no love, there is no authentic “choosing Him” unless it is chosen freely. There is no such thing as “forced conversion,” through threats of condemnation, coercion, guilting, or otherwise. Saving someone from sin is much gentler, as God is with us.
It’s all for God.
The purpose of the spiritual works of mercy and admonishing the sinner is to guide someone back to God. But it can only be done with the individuals consent, as their hearts are made ready. Jesus never “forces” us to follow Him.
Our loving God casts out shame—He heals us from it. Therefore, it has no place within His Body, the Church. As those from the fallen world seek to come into communion with Him, for the first time ever or for the first time in a while, we welcome them and kindly assist in their reunion.
Admonishing the sinner is a mercy; let us make sure that it comes across as such.
Photo by Adi Goldstein on Unsplash
